Friday, October 31, 2008

Something Actually Scary


The Bush administration is using its last couple of months in office to push through suck-tastic regulations. Or rather, to loosen current regulations so our quality of life can decrease.

"The Bush administration is making a last-minute push to enact U.S. federal regulations that would ease rules designed to protect the public, observers said..

Included among the proposed changes are rules that would clear roadblocks to some commercial ocean-fishing activities, ease controls on emissions of pollutants that contribute to global warming, relax drinking water standards and lift a major restriction on mountaintop coal mining, the Post said."

Yeah. We all want drinking water standards to be relaxed. I can to get a nice glass of crap.

At this point, I'm sure they don't even care if they come across as scary world-destroying villains. They can do whatever the fuck they want. They're at the end of their terms and don't need to be re-elected.

Ugh.

My favorite part is White House spokesperson Tony Fratto saying:

""And yes, we'd prefer our regulations stand for a very long time -- they're well reasoned and are being considered with the best interests of the nation in mind."

American--where we want to drink polluted water ever day. Right.

Bustin' Makes Me Feel Good!

This one's on my iPod. I'll be listening to it and smiling like an idiot all day.




I ain't afraid of no ghost!

Also, the production value is through the roof! I want a house with colorful florescent lights. It'll be like living in bar sign. And I love the celebrity "singers." Why can't more videos be like this?

This would be a great follow-up for the find people at dustfilms, who made these amazing works of music video glory.

Dorking out for Halloween

I always enjoy the Today Show on Halloween (arguably more than I ever enjoy the Today Show) because they always go all out with costumes. But this year, the glory didn't go to the anchors, it went to all the adorable kid costumes, especially the one at the end, also known as the cutest baby ever.



This just reiterates to me how great it will be when I finally have a kid, because until it can talk, it will be put in costumes every single day. "Good morning baby, today you will be dressed like a monkey! Enjoy!" Because children are meant to entertain us.

Spooky Scary!

From 30 Rock (did anyone see last night's new episode?), here's a classic bit of Tracy Morgan:





Boys becoming men! Men becoming wolves!

To hear the rest of 'Werewolf Bar Mitzvah,' check out:

Happy Halloween (again!)

Here's a lovely pumpkin carving video to get you in the spirit for today... made by a friend of LadyFaces!

Happy Halloween!


Just to go a little nerdly for the moment, Halloween is also the setting for the Scottish ballad 'Tam Lin,' in which Janet hooks up with Tam Lin (who was stolen by the fairies as a child). Because Janet's knocked up now, she has to save Tam Lin from being dragged into hell. Pretty effin' cool.

"The Queen of Fairies keppit me
In yon green hill to dwell,
And I'm a fairv, lyth and limb,
Fair ladye, view me well.

Then would I never tire, Janet,
In Elfish land to dwell,
But aye, at every seven years,
They pay the teind to hell;
And I am sae fat and fair of flesh,
I fear 't will be mysell.

This night is Halloween, Janet,
The morn is Hallowday,
And gin ye dare your true love win,
Ye hae nae time to stay.

The night it is good Halloween,
When fairy folk will ride,
And they that wad their true-love win,
Miles Cross they maun bide.'"

From a website devoted to Tam Lin, with all sorts of translations. This one's from Ministrelsy of the Scottish Border by Sir Walter Scott.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Mr. Popular


He's been criticized for being too much of a celebrity, and this picture sure doesn't help his argument against that.

But given that this is a car from Texas, perhaps it might have been better to scrawl out "Obama. Seriously, he's not Muslim." Because apparently nearly one in four Texans think that he is. One in four is a lot.

It just so happens I got into a conversation with my Dad about this issue tonight (shout out to the Big D!). He was all sorts of incredulous at the thought that people think Barry is a Muslim. At some point he said "how ill-informed are these people that they really believe this?"

But I don't think it's an issue of information or ignorance. I get the feeling that these folks think he's a secret Muslim. Yeah, there's all that going to church business and saying he's a Christian, most of them have probably heard that, but it's all just a facade. This guy is just waiting to win and then he'll bust out "Boo-yah suckers! I'm a Muslim! Totally pulled that shit on you! I'm handing the country over to Al Qaeda now, and you can't do shit about it. Mwahahahaha."

It's a tough position to argue against, much like almost any conspiracy theory. You can point out all you want that he was married in a church, had both his daughter baptized there, heck, you can even point out his heavily publicized relationship with that REVEREND of his, Jeremiah. None of that matters, because to these folks it's all a big fat lie. It's tough to argue with that, so I won't. And I'll do you one better, if Obama does make an election night speech similar to the quote I imagined earlier (albeit certainly more eloquent), I will buy all those believers a beer, assuming sharia law doesn't go into effect and outlaw booze before I get a chance.

Where Do Candidates Come From?

By this time next week, we'll (hopefully) have a winner in this neverending election. Whether your choice wins or loses, you can always snuggle up to him or her. That is, if you win one of these Presidential Candidate Cabbage Patch Dolls.


Okay, they're not for general sale, just for an auction, raising money for Toys for Tots. But still, it's all pretty creepy.

Put Your Baby to Work


You know how babies think all they have to give in a relationship is smiles and gurgles. Yeah, right! Those days of being consumed by your Id are over, baby!

Gotta start earning your keep, kid. Put on your mop onesie and get to work.

My guess how the concept development went:

"All my kid does all day is crawl! And the floors are so dirty!"

"Too bad he couldn't clean then while he was down there."

"Yeah, too...hey!"

And thus the babymop was born. What people won't try to sell you, right?

Dino

Have you wondered what your skills might be if matched against a velociraptor, armed only with a crow bar? Would you survive? Would you perish? Maim or be maimed?



Now, you can find out your chances. Right. Here.

And let us know!

Flim Flim Flim Flim Flim


What do you think of when you hear the phrase "Previously on LOST?" Do you think of that deep narrator voice? Do you think about Jack and Kate and Sawyer and what could possibly happen next? Do you think about how awesome Thursday nights are?


Or do you think of something a little more musical?


There are a lot of Harry Potter bands, but--as far as I know--only one LOST band. With songs like "The Island Won't Let You Die" and "Male Role Model," Previously on Lost provides the perfect anidote to what Lost fans crave during the off season.


Some lyrics from "Be My Constant" (Oh yeah, Desmond/Penny!):



"Tea-ching in England, my hair is growing each and every day
The work that Oxford frowns upon is rescued by your smile,
You also know my favorite rodent's name

First you're in the army in the dirt, now you're on the boat,
now you're in my room giving oscillating figures (2.342 gigwatts)
And if my calculations prove correct, you must find something to
connect
Yourself to me, in that respect, and to the future,
I detect your flashes will get exponentially bigger

If you slipped and hit your head my love would still remain the same
In a bit you might be dead from aneurysms in your brain
Now, it's plain to see
h, won't you be
My CONSTANT"


Plus, apparently their shows are all lei-ed out and island-ed up. Sweet!


If you still need convincing, here's what Michael Emerson (aka Ben Linus) has to say about them:



"Great job y'all, its a good treble vocal sound on that, and there's a lot of
depth to that production!"


Are you going to argue with Ben?!

Thursday's yuck-it-up

Good morning folks. It's Thursday, which means it's bad joke day.

What do clouds wear under their clothes?

Thunderwear.
... How awesome is that? Pretty cheesy, right? I agree. Oh how I love a good yuckster of a joke. But this joke gave me more than a mere internal chuckle, because this joke led me to discover a whole new phenomenon. Because it turns out there's a product out there called Thunderwear that is intended to hold guns. I bet you're wondering why the name sounds so similar to "underwear." At least that was what I was wondering when I first found this product, but then I looked more closely at the picture, and it became clear.


Thunderwear is for when you want to keep your firearms as close to your genitals as possible, for example, in your underwear. It is amazing. If I owned a gun I would want this. Heck, I may get this and use it to keep other items that I want to keep close to my loins. Keys, money, knives!

So what about the whole "guns near things I really don't want to shoot" issue? Well do not fret. There's a FAQ on the website to address that query.

How safe is this type of carry? I'm concerned especially where it's located.
Thunderwear Holsters are the safest Concealed Holsters you can own. First, the weapon is on top of the sensitive area of your body pointed down in between your feet. It's impossible to get your finger on the trigger until you extract your weapon. The fact is you actually feel more secure because your weapon will act as a "CUP" to protect the sensitive area of your body if under physical attack!
There you go. All safe. You can now go out and get your own thunderwear. If It were up to me I'd have named it GUN-der-wear, but then the cheesy joke would have never brought such joy to all our lives.

The Feel Good Movie of the Season


You only thought The Dark Knight was a bestseller until this came along.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

An Ensemble Number

Link
Who wants to recreate this with me?

(via Jessica Bigarel)

So Filling, It's Scary!

If you go into Chipolte on Halloween, dressed as a burrito, taco, bowl or salad, they'll give you a free burrito.

My first thought: a free burrito is not worth that. It should be a month of free buritos.

But then, I also want to see someone in a taco costume. And what would a bowl costume even be? How could you make a salad stand out? These costumes involve work. (The easiest would be the burrito, since you could just wrap yourself in foil.)

My challenge to Ladyface readers: dress up as Chiptole food, get your free burrito, and document the process for us.

(Thanks to deleteyourself!)

Scary Times

I don't want Sarah Palin to be my president. But I also think it's pretty jackass-y for people to hang a mannequin of her by a noose.

It's supposed to be a kind of "Halloween decoration." Super funny. Super clever. I don't care what views you have or what candidate you support. Behavior like that is out of line. It creates an environment of violence and fear, and is a subtle threat to vote a certain way. Democracy is about voting for whoever the hell you want to vote for. This isn't Stalinist Russia, guys.

I'm all for freedom of speech and artistic expression, but there's nothing original or artistic about this display. Nice try, jerk.

Vote for Obama. Vote for McCain. Close your eyes and pick one of the other candidates if you want. But don't create such a hostile environment for voting.

Owner of the display is Chad Michael Morrisette, official dumbass.

"Morissette does admit that if he had put up a display resembling Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama hanging from a noose, "people would've probably thrown things through our windows."

"The image of a hanged black man is a lot more intense than the image of a hanged white woman -- for our country, in the history of our country," he explained to KCAL.

Morrisette said he wants the display viewed as art that is appropriate for the holiday. "It is Halloween. It's time to be scary. Its time to be spooky," he said."


So it's okay to hang a woman but not a black person? Sure, there are more historical connotations with a lynched black person, but I don't find hanging anyone very funny or "spooky." It's just threatening.

Plus, it gives people voting Democrat a bad name. Nice job, Morrisette.

Hail to the Chief?


Sarah Palin doesn't really need to care if she and McCain win or lose. (And by this time next week, we'll know for sure.) Because she's been launched into political fame and may be on the next Republican ticket as well, only this time as president.

I know. The same woman who can see Russia from her house.

But Republicans see things a little differently:

"Ms. Palin, of Alaska, has had a rocky time since being named as Senator John McCain’s running mate, but to many conservatives her future remains bright. If Mr. McCain wins, she will give the social conservative movement a seat inside the White House. If he loses, she could emerge as a standard bearer for the movement and a potential presidential candidate in 2012, albeit one who will need to address her considerable political damage."


2012 might not be enough time to make people forget about Tina Fey's awesome impersonations. And although I'd love to see more of them, I don't want Palin in the White House as legitimately elected president in order to get that. Seriously, we don't have other good candidates? There's no other extremely qualified, likeable candidate out there?

Former Bush strategist Matthew Dowd points out:

"She’s an attractive woman who can give a great speech, but the American public doesn’t view her much beyond that. She’s vastly unpopular among moderate and independent voters, and while she could be in a position to be popular among an increasingly smaller Republican Party, she’s got to figure out a way to extend that and figure out a way to strengthen her weaknesses."


My guess is that, if McCain isn't elected, by 2012 the craze for Palin will have slowed so the public isn't clamoring for her anymore. But what if it were 2012--Palin vs. Clinton? Could we get Tina Fey and Amy Poehler on the campaign trail instead?

Ladies, know your limits!

Never forget that overeducation leads to ugliness, premature aging, and beard growth.



Making the ladies at LadyFaces total dogs.

Wednesday's teaser

Something to get your mind fired up for hump day.

Can you name four days which start with the letter "T"?

Answer at the end of the day (or as soon as someone gets it right!)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I Look Like I Stuck My Finger in a Socket

From jaclynwile.com


I Hate Girls Who:

Can wear their hair pulled up in an effortlessly messy/chic way. Whenever I try to wear my hair up, it takes me at least 20 minutes to make it look like I did absolutely nothing to it.


Amen, sister.

Do It For Charles

If Obama doesn't win, Charles might die. Vote wisely.





This kills me. You rock, Charles!

Seriously?

An 8 year-old boy is dead due to an accidental gun wound. Usually this kind of thing happens in the home--a kid stumbles across his parent's gun, it's not properly secured, and tragedy ensues. This, however, was at a gun fair. The boy was firing an Uzi submachine gun. Apparently this was the chain of events:

"The weapon was loaded and prepared by the instructor and handed to the 8-year-old boy. The 8-year-old boy fired the weapon, the front end of the weapon raised up to his head, and a round struck him in the head."

It's a horrible situation and must be devastating for the family. But why was an 8 year-old allowed to handle an Uzi at all? Even if it was prepared by an instructor, and even if this could have happened to a 48 year-old, this seems particularly wrong for a child. It's a horrible mistake that could have been prevented by not letting kids handle Uzis. (And this was in Massachusetts, not West Virginia.)

This isn't little Walter Cunningham helping his father hunt squirrels so his family can eat. This was just a wretched event. I don't think guns should be outlawed, but how is it reasonable for an 8 year-old to handle a major weapon, even in the presence of professionals and parents?

Little old ladies

Proving they don't fit that stereotype of little old white ladies who are scared of big menacing black men.

With rhymes!

I'd like to widen your panniers . . .

Hello all! This is Catherine, and I am honored to be a guest poster here at Lady Faces! Hope you enjoy my post!

It seems like the sexy halloween costume industry has gone wild. It seems like any girl can wear underwear and attach the appropriate accessories to make herself "sexy [anything]". First there were sexy animals (cats, mice, etc.). Then sexy occupations (nurse, firefighter,etc.). Then fantasy figures (witch, devil, etc.). Now the sexy costume industry reaches far beyond that. Check out these finds:

Sexy Marie Antoinette - Yeah, the guillotine is hot.

Sexy Sherlock Holmes -Come hither, Watson.

Sexy Hogwarts Student- Move over Hermione!

Meet George Jetson (for whom a sexy costume apparently doesn't exist), Jane, his sexy wife!, Sexy daughter Judy! (His boy Elroy is also apparently not sexy.)

To ruin your cartoon memories even more, we have Sexy Wilma Flintstone and Sexy Betty Rubble.

The most frightening TV sexy mama, which will surely scar you is Sexy June Cleaver. Yes, that's right.

Then there's the ever baffling Sexy Guitar(?).

Another one that baffles me is the Sexy Annie. Which Annie is this referring to again? It certainly doesn't resemble everyone's (including FDR's) favorite optimistic orphan. Nor does it look like a certain sexy Hair-Color-Princess-Girl. Who then?

Finally my favorite. The Sexy Puritan. That's right, a representative of the most fun-loving and sexy crowd of people who ever lived. Perhaps they could have at least called is a Hester Prynne costume?

Seriously folks, don't try to make Puritans sexy. Or cats or Vikings or Dorothy or pumpkins. They just aren't.

Tuesday morning science

Ever wanted to make a tomato glow? No? You sure? Well you will once you're done watching this video. Never before have glowing tomatoes been so cool. Check it, yo.



Make A GLOWING TOMATO ! - video powered by Metacafe

Monday, October 27, 2008

Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do!

You say beagles can't fly? That Underdog is just a cartoon? Watch how this little beagle escapes.




Oh my God, I love beagles so much. That little yipping noise of determination! The wiggling! The walking on the walls. I don't care what anyone says; beagles are smarter than most people.

I Must Ask Too Much of You

So I was really upset when the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince movie was delayed until summer 2009, just because they wanted to make more money off of it. But at least they've given me a kick-ass new trailer. You've earned one more point, Warner Brothers.




Looks pretty awesome to me. It's so dark! (The cave!!!) I hope I get creeped out of my brain. And I love the bit with Hermione and Harry at the end. Who knew six years ago that these kids would end up owning their parts as much as they have?

Mmm Mmm Good


Trying to figure out what you're going to eat this week? Don't want to spend money on recipes? Check out a cooking blog.

One of my favorites is Smitten Kitchen. Great variety of foods, beautiful pictures, and a blogger who makes you feel like a member of her kitchen. I want to try everything Deb makes. Last week my boyfriend and I made her spaghetti and meatballs. You might think it's a simple meal, but meatballs are pretty intense. If you don't roll them enough, they fall apart. If you roll them too much, they're too tough. Deb pointed out that, when browning the meatballs (prior to being added to the sauce, you should not crowd the meatballs. I didn't really take her seriously, and for a good five minutes I was shooting, "Oh God! They're crowding! Oh God! I didn't mean to! Damnit! Damnit!" So from now on I'll take Deb's warnings seriously, because she knows her stuff. And even though my meatballs were half-meatballs, half-meat sauce, it was still amazingly delicious.

Like my favorite webcomics, there will be more recipes/cooking blogs to come. But we're starting out with a great one!

(Anyone want to make the pink lady cake with me? Or rather, share it with me?)

Sonic Power!

In response to the hedgehog sanctuary:



Hedgehogs are both adorable and filled with a raging power.
Do not make them angry.

(I love them!)

West Tennessee folks trying to kill Obama

So some boys outta western Tennessee got themselves brought in on account of having themselves an illegal sawed off shotgun and plans to murder some black folks and one of our two Presidential candidates (I'll let you guess which one).

These self-described skin heads weren't the smartest bunch though. Here's a line from the local story...

According to the complaint, the defendants further discussed their killing spree to include targeting a predominately African American school, and to continue their spree until their final act of violence, which would be to attempt to assassinate Obama.
Really guys? You were gonna shoot up a school, and then go try to kill one of the most protected presidential candidates in recent history? That gonna work out good for you? I have a feeling something might have gone wrong though. I don't think most folks who go on massive school shootings often get out alive. Most either go kamikaze and end their lives, or get killed by cops in the crossfire. And you weren't necessarily planning the sniper approach (which is reprehensible, but was at least arguably effective) so how on earth were you going to get away unnoticed? What, you think people just don't care about predominately black schools? That's lame. You guys have a lame plan. But then again, it's for the best that you're lame. Two less idiots out there trying to kill Obama.

Newsweek's version
of the story.

Moral of Monday: dogs are lifesavers

Sorry for the broken record LadyFaces is turning into today. But here's another story of a puppy who didn't just save kittens, but saved a whole grown human baby!



Dogs: they save stuff.

More cuteness!



I discovered the animal playlist on msnbc.com video player.

This may become the only thing I post all day: lots of animals.

Bonus cute!



O-M-Geeeez.

Puppies saving kittens is always the best.

Monday Morning cuteness

Look at this mama cat coming to the rescue of her baby. She means business.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Vomit

Mario Lopez is writing a children's book. Because everybody's doing it, and hey, kids don't know much, so they can ignore the fact that he's totally lacking in talent, right?

Ugh. My head hurts.

"An insider tells In Touch, 'Mario wants to share his amazing experiences as a kid. It's called Mud Taco, and it's based on Mario's experiences growing up. For fun, he and Marissa would make tacos out of mud in the backyard, substituting worms for cheese, grass for lettuce, and mud for meat. Now they're writing a book about it to teach children to be strong and creative.'"

Yes. Mud tacos. I know. That'll really help kids learn to be strong and creative. How will mud tacos make you strong? Seriously. Mario and his sister were not exactly breaking the mold on kids games. Plus, I wouldn't want my kid coming in the house with a freakin' mud taco. "Look Mom, we made dinner!" Yeah, that's creativity for ya.

Also, the writer adds:

"
It's actually a really cute idea for a book. Now if only Mario could stop being such a womanizer!"

Yes. That's the real problem here! His darn womanizing ways! Kids hate that! But you know what they love? Mud tacos!

Mario Lopez, I never had a problem with you before. Get off the children's book train before you go on my list, too.

Flashback to Last Week, When We Were Nerds


There are certain things I like:

  1. YA lit.
  2. Funny songs
  3. Being nerdy
  4. Argyle
What event could possibly combine all of these things? The Great Nerdfighter Tour 2008, that's what. A good friend and I went to the Boston leg of the tour and had an awesome time.

"Wait, what?" you're saying. "Nerd what? Was this a concert? A reading?"

A little bit of everything, actually. In 2007, YA author John Green and his brother Hank gave themselves a challenge: They would only communicate via the spoken word--ie, no emails, no texts, etc. One of their major methods of communication was video blogging. Every weekday, they would take turns sending each other four minute-or-so updates with their thoughts about the world, books, politics, yetis, business cards, and more. But then they started getting viewers. Then Hank wrote "Accio Deathly Hallows" and they got a lot more viewers. Who were these viewers--nerdfighters. Basically, if you were friends with me in high school (or would have been friends with me) you're a nerdfighter.

Even though this was only supposed to be for a year, they've extended their project because of so many viewers and so much nerd love. Although they don't hold themselves to such stringent guidelines, they do update regularly, and also encourage other people to post their own videos/pictures/discussions.

My friend and I discovered we both had an affection for the Green brothers and their social experiment. So we packed up and headed to Cambridge, and were thoroughly entertained by John, Hank, Julia Nunes, and others.

So basically, I got to meet three members of my secret family last week. So excited!




Hank Green sang "Helena Montana."




And then Julia Nunes sang several songs, one of which was "Bye Bye Bye." Guess who's better than Justin Timberlake? My imaginary sister!

Please excuse the bad videography; I was excited and didn't always hold the camera straight. Overall, it was such a fun event, and the Green brothers seem really genuine and totally blown away by their success. And Julia Nunes was even better in person than she is on Youtube. She's going to have major success of her own.

Re-Enacte the Crime?


The Civil War re-enactment world has been shaken. Last month, in a rural Virginia battle, a Union soldier (in real life, a retired NYC police officer) was shot in the shoulder.

It's war, right? Gotta have a casualty every so often. But the thing is, re-enactors aren't supposed to be carrying ammunition. Even though they get really serious about having historically accurate materials--homemade hardtack, yum!--they aren't any loaded weapons, just black powder for flash and bang.

"The shooting sent the 73-year-old to the hospital and left the Isle of Wight Sheriff's Office in rural southeastern Virginia with a Civil War-style CSI case. Investigators used film to piece together what happened and have narrowed a suspect to one re-enactor."

Drama! I hope this is inspiration for a future CSI episode. I wonder who the one re-enactor is. It could have been a random mistake. (Apparently there were "walk-on" actors, who aren't associated with a unit and possibly don't know about chains of command or safety rules.) But honestly, for the narrative thread it would be so much better if someone had a grudge and found this as the perfect revenge. Too bad retired NYC police officers are made of steel!

SNL baby

Seth Meyers alerted the world tonight to the birth of Amy Poehler and Will Arnett's brand new baby (a boy, apparently!!). Congrats to the couple.

Bonus points to SNL for having Maya Rudolph (back for the night!) and Kenan Thompson sing a lovely little ditty for Amy and baby. Too sweet for words.

On top of all the sappiness, it was another funny night for the show. The heavy political season has served the writers well. With Amy's last minute absence, the show was obviously down a sketch or two, and Coldplay ably stepped in to fill the time. I admit, I'm not normally a big Coldplay fan, but they performed well tonight.

We'll miss Amy. Word is that she won't return to the show after maternity leave (she heads to work on that Office spin-off that maybe isn't actually a spin off but who really knows). Either way, we love a mother going back to her job bringing the funny, even if it is in a new role.

Hulu highlights from tonight's show coming when they post...

Friday, October 24, 2008

Liar liar...

Wow. So what a tall tale we have here. First there was this story that Matt Drudge went ape-shit over yesterday about a 20 year old female mugging victim named Ashley Todd. Why did Drudge go nuts on this story? Because of the details of this mugging. Todd told the story of a black man, who, in the midst of mugging her, saw a McCain sticker on her car, decided to beat her up and carve the letter B into her face to remind her of Barack Obama.

It was a horrible story, and it definitely wasn't going to help Obama's press. The story: crazy Obamaniacs not only hate McCain, but they'll brand you for feeling otherwise.

But then things got a little fishy last night when a picture of this young woman was released. See that B. It's backwards. So our mugger is not only a shameless evil criminal, he's also mildly illiterate or dyslexic or something comparable.

Or, you know, he's imaginary. Because it turns out Ashley Todd is a big, fat, liar, liar pants on fire. That's right. The cops today looked over the evidence and became a tad skeptical, and so they decided to put her to a polygraph, and she broke down and decided to tell the truth. Her mugger didn't carve the B into her cheek, and she wasn't even mugged. She just made it up, and she carved the B into her own cheek.

It's absolutely horrible to do something like this, but I gotta say, if she's really die hard for her candidate, I'm not terribly surprised. Think about it. Things are not looking good for McCain. She's young, naive, desperate, and so she thinks "man, if people just finally realize that Obama supporters are evil, they'll vote for McCain, and if I do this, it'll work. I'll say it's a black guy because that'll scare them even more, and then McCain will win and he'll fix the country and we won't have to deal with the socialist."

Admittedly I'm putting words into this girl's mouth, and I could be wrong in my interpretation, but I've got a hunch her motives originally were something to that effect. I think there's a number of reasons to be glad she didn't get away with it, but really I feel bad for her, because if that cut's deep enough, chances are she's going to have to live with that reminder in her cheek for the rest of her life.

Them's Fightin' Words!


Professor Stephen Brown of Ulster University did a study on how readers approach Harry Potter. Useless, but it sounds like he's at least interested in good stuff. Right? He broke readers down into four categories based on--guess what?--the four houses of Hogwarts.

"His research found 'Hufflepuff' readers take the tales at a slow, steady and systematic pace and enjoy re-reading the books over and over.

'Gryffindor' readers are eager and energetic and will devour the latest Potter book in one sitting, but quickly move on to new things.

'Ravenclaws' are subversive and take the stories with a pinch of salt, while 'Slytherin' readers are not fussed about the books."


So...how do these relate to the actual descriptions of houses in Harry Potter? Gryffindors aren't ADD. And Ravenclaws aren't paranoid. So my guess is that he thought this was a "clever" way of breaking up groups, but it shows he doesn't actually know anything about the thing he's studying. Whatever.

But then he goes on to say this:

He doubted JK Rowling's books had the staying power of an author like Roald Dahl, and predicted: "It could come back into fashion but I think it could be like many fads and just fade away and people will look back and say 'Why did we ever read this stuff?'"

Stuff? Stuff? STUFF? Even though the series is over, I'm still very attached to the books and love to return to them. Only yesterday I thought, "Gosh, it's so gray and fall-y out, I'd love to be curled up in bed with the Harry Potter series." And I know there are plenty of fans out there just like me. The books aren't about tension or drama. This isn't frickin' Twilight. Like Dahl, Rowling has created wonderful characters and full worlds for them. And even more than Dahl, I'd say Rowling introduces serious issues: loved ones die, not everyone is plain good or bad, and the world is tough but ultimately worth saving. Maybe it won't be The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, but I don't think Harry Potter is a fad. I will never look back and say, "Why did I read this stuff."

You're on my list, Brown. Watch your step.

Paul Bunyan's Bedroom


Oh the things you can find on craigslist.

Even more pictures through the link. Thanks to Renee!

Technophobe or Bookworm?

Amazon.com's growth is slowly a little, but that's not surprising. People are more careful about their spending than they were in 2007. Plus, there was the huge Harry Potter sale of July 2007--people wanted the last book, and others who had been waiting until the series finished picked them all up now that the final one was released. Even the Twilight craze can't match that.

But they're also slowing down on the Kindle. Let's face it; I don't think it's the new Wii.

"CFO Tom Szkutak said that while sales of the Kindle have exceeded expectations, it does not plan to release a new version of the e-reader until 2009 “at the earliest.” He noted that Amazon has ramped up manufacturing capacity for Kindle, and the device is in stock.

I think that's a smart move. While I'm waiting for a Wii eventually (hell, even my parents want one), it'll take a long time before I warm up to Kindle, if I ever do. If I want a gadget, I'll take my iPod. But a real book is something else. There's a smell, a feel of the pages. You can see how much you have left and how much you've already read. You don't get a funny glare from the screen. And if other people are reading around you (say, on the subway) you can judge them via their choice of book. In theory, the Kindle sounds like a good idea--take lots of books with you--but I'm fine with my paperback copies, thanks.

Anyone own a Kindle? Anyone want one?

Another Thursday SNL




I will miss Will Ferrell's George W come January. This sketch makes me genuinely wonder though, how lame must W feel right now, given that the guy running from his party to take over his spot is not publicly bashing his policies.


Meanwhile, one more beef. These SNL Thursday updates, why the crap do they keep saying "Live from New York, It's Saturday night"? Because it's fucking Thursday night! Seriously people, the tag line is nice and all, but I think it would be okay if you actually bothered to give the real day of the week, otherwise it just feels awkward. I'm getting over the fact that you call it SNL Weekend Update Thursdays (even though Thursday is not the weekend), but don't push it, folks.

Pumpkin carving.


Look at the lovely little 2001 flash app that my dad sent me! I decided to make myself a jack-o-lantern.... or perhaps a jill-o-lantern, because it's a lady?

Make your own!

The Best Show You're Probably Not Watching



It's that time of year, when networks are thinking about axing shows that aren't getting enough viewers. Some deserve it (Cavemen? A show based on a commercial?), some deserve it but haven't gotten it yet (Knight Rider), and some don't deserve it. Remember Freaks and Geeks? Or My So-Called Life? What would have happened if they'd canceled Buffy after the first season? Heck, even The Office had a rocky start until the networks actually did some work to promote it and nurture it so that it became the hysterical hit it is.

This season, it's Pushing Daisies.

It's a whimsical, wacky little show. With Jim Dale (narrator for the Harry Potter books on tape) narrating, it's a world of crazy characters and funny situations.

Ned is a piemaker. He owns a shop called the Pie Hole. And as a side gig, he helps solve crimes. Except it's not just CSI. He and private investigator Emerson Cod cheat on the crime-solving side, because Ned has a special talent.

He can raise the dead.

So Ned and Emerson can actually ask dead people who/what killed them. (Easy reward money.) But there are rules: Ned touches a dead thing once, it's alive again. A second touch, and dead forever. If he raises something for more than a minute, something else has to die. (Ie--if he raised a puppy, a kitten nearby would die.)

That last rule had some nasty consequences. Ned's mother died suddenly of an aneurysm when he was a child. Before he knew the rules, he touched her--back to life, mom! But then his best friend/childhood sweetheart Charlotte's ("Chuck's") father died. And she didn't know it was, technically, him.

But Chuck (she's still a girl, that's just her nickname) has come back into Ned's life. Because he was solving the mystery of her death. He brought her back to life and let her live, which means the pair can never touch. And now she's part of the crime-solving team (much to the chagrin of Emerson), which is difficult because the world still thinks she's a murder victim.

The writing is really sharp. Funny lines, great characters. Some quotes:

Narrator: As he stared at her, he reached around his back and held his own hand, pretending he was holding hers. And at that very moment, she was pretending to be holding his.

Emerson: If I wanted to mingle with a bunch of geeks wearing leotards, I'd have stayed in art school.

Coroner: My niece gave me this sweater.
Emerson: That thing's uglier then a chipmunk's ass.
Ned: He means the sweater, not your niece.

If you like The Series of Unfortunate Events, you'll love this. (Pies! Horse thieves! Carnivals!) If you like Law and Order, you'll love this. (A different murder-mystery every episode!) If you like Pam and Jim from The Office, you'll love this. (Cutest TV Couple battle!)

Unfortunately, ratings have been low for the second season. I say it's because ABC has done shit to promote it. (How many Samantha Who? commercials can I see, and yet I had to search out the Pushing Daisies premiere date.) Add that to the fact that they didn't show reruns after the writers' strike cut the first season short. (Why, ABC? Were you busy with some lame-ass reality show?) So I'm doing my part.

Pushing Daisies. Wednesdays. 8:00. ABC (even if they don't deserve it).

I do wonder how online viewers play into this. That's how I watch it, since I have class until 10 on Wednesdays.

Have some pie. Solve a mystery. It'll be a good time.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

S-S-S-Something From the Comments!

Before (I knew about) the Green Brothers, Charlieiscool, or Lonelygirl15, there was Zefrank.

Remember the world sandwich? Coca-Cola Black?

Go back in time. Spend some time with this wacky man.











Everyone and their mom has a Youtube show now. Even Hannah Montana and her (friend? sister?) made a video that made fun of other Disney stars. (Apparently it was "all in good fun." Kind of like powder puff football hazing.) But not many people are all that interesting to watch. Recipe for success: part editing, part talking faster than you think you have to, part being an interesting person. In a time when everyone is told they're fascinating and special, some people are more special than others.

She said, in a blog post. Hmmm.

Anyway, enjoy the flashback to Zefrank!

Yay!

Who's excited???








This embedded player should stick around... hopefully...

Thursday's yuck-it-up

Here's a cheesy little joke to get your Thursday off to a funnier start. In honor of the man who has less than 90 days left to lead this great country of ours.

The Pope, a schoolboy and President George W. Bush are in a plane. Suddenly the pilot suffers a heart attack and the craft takes a nosedive. As the engines sputter, the three passengers try to stay calm.
"Well," says the Pope, "we have established that none of us can land this baby, so we're going to have to jump for it."
"But there are only two parachutes," says the boy, pointing to a pile of bundles by the exit.
Without hesitating, President Bush rushes over to them, takes one and shouts: "I am the President of the United States of America. I am the world's most powerful leader. People across the planet rely on my wisdom and judgment every day. I have a responsibility not to die."
With that, he leaps out of the plane.
Now the Pope turns calmly to the schoolboy and says: "I am already old. I have already lived my life as a good person and a priest. There is a place for me in heaven. I insist you take the last parachute."
"No need," says the boy, "The wise old U.S. President just took my schoolbag..."
ba-dum-ching!

Math is Delicious


And it's not even Pi day.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Fashion Ain't Cheap


Our favorite, Sarah Palin, has spent over $150,000 on her campaign wardrobe, provided by the Republican National Committee. I understand that candidates have to look presentable on the campaign trail--it's like going to a job interview, really--but over a hundred thousand dollars? On clothes? In the last two months?

They probably should have spent more of that money on teaching Palin the issues.

Also in the total were "a few purchases at Pacifier, a top notch baby store, and Steiniauf & Stroller Inc., suggesting $295 was spent to accommodate the littlest Palin to join the campaign trail." Only the best for baby Palin! If the baby can't hack it in his old gear, he doesn't deserve to be the First Baby!

Booth Moore, the LA Times fashion critic tries to joke about it, saying:

"Palin's clothes came from retailers such as Saks Fifth Avenue, Macy’s, Bloomingdales, Neiman Marcus and Barneys New York, and expenses included nearly $5,000 for hair and makeup. Maybe this is actually her one-woman economic stimulus plan. Lord knows the retail sector needs it."

Then they go to on to add:

"Still, voters must find it unfathomable for Palin, who has been presented as a woman “like us,” to spend that kind of money on clothes in these difficult financial times, to see her speaking so passionately about Joe the Plumber while plumbing campaign coffers for Valentino jackets and pencil skirts. And yet, they’ve eaten it up, tittering on chat sites about Palin’s Kawasaki eyeglass frames and her Naughty Monkey red peep-toe pumps."

Do I think Palin dresses well? You bet. Would I rather have a VP who dressed in clothes from Target and actually knew what she was talking about. Heck yeah! It is unfathomable for Palin to claim she's "Main Street America" and yet spends that much on her work wardrobe. I hope these voters who are swayed by fashion forget what day election day is.

I'm sure Tim Gunn would agree.

Really, Peabody?

A police union in Peabody, MA wants September 11 off or holiday pay. Because nobody felt 9/11 quite like the Peabody police.

Of course, I think police are so important and do a great job. But this would have much more credence if it were, say, the NYPD. Nice try, guys. Incidentally:

"A union representing 24,000 NYPD officers has tried during contract discussions to get extra pay for anti-terrorism work in the years since the September 11 attack but has been unsuccessful. Patrolmen's Benevolent Association spokesman Al O'Leary said the pay would be more appropriate than extra pay for one day."

I agree. Give the pay for their hard work, not just for the anniversary.

I'm John McCain and I approve this message

John McCain decided to pay some hot shot directors to make him some ads.

... or did he?



Excellent use of Bowie. You can never have too much Bowie.

Wednesday's teaser

Here's a little mind teaser to start out your Wednesday.


The problem is quite simple. You are given 8 identical-looking balls, one of which is heavier than the other 7 (all of which weigh the same). Using an old-fashioned mechanical set of scales you must identify the heavier ball using the scale as few times as possible. The scale is constructed using two bowls and an arm enabling the bowls to either balance or have one bowl rising while the other (and heavier bowl) falling. You can't just add one ball at a time thinking its one weighing, however, you may put any number of balls in each bowl... All you need to solve the puzzle is to use a bit of common sense.

So, how many weighings does it take to find the heavier ball?

a. one

b. two

c. three

d. four

Feel free to give your answer and method in the comments if it strikes your fancy. Or just ponder this one all day. Consider this just a little brain food... our Wednesday present to you! If curiosity gets the best of you and you simply must know the answer you can look it up online (just google: the 8 ball problem) or you can wait til the end of the day, when we'll post the answer!

Our only request is that if you do cheat and look up the solution, you don't pretend you figured it out and put in the comments. Because that'll ruin it for everyone else, and we don't like spoil sports here.

Get the Deluxe Package

Remember school picture days? Remember begging your mom for the awesome "star" background or the hardcore "laser" background, but she insisted that basic blue was just fine for you, so get your ugly sweater on already? Oh yeah, you remember. Well let those memories come flooding back with the Laser Portrait blog.

Oh yeah. You know you're hot.
This next kid looks a little scared. Must be thinking of Darth Vader.


What was your best/worst elementary school picture? Did you ever get the lasers?

Who's a "Real State?"

Obama is closing in on McCain in traditionally Republican states like North Carolina. After--ahem--certain comments about Northern Virginia not being "real" enough, I think Pfotenhauer will have to admit that there's a new reality in the South:

“Somewhere, former conservative icon Senator Jesse Helms must be turning over in his grave at the prospect of Obama winning North Carolina’s 15 electoral votes,” James Bennett, the managing editor of the local newspaper, The Independent Tribune, wrote after Mr. McCain’s visit. “The Republican stronghold that elected Helms to five terms in the Senate no longer exists.”

That's not to say Obama's necessarily going to win North Carolina. But it's going to be a lot tougher than I'm sure the McCain team anticipated.

Found Him!


Waldo loved Leanne's collection, too.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Live in Your Books

No, not a reference to Inkheart (although awesome). It's more contemporary art.



Artist Tom Bendtsen is making book forts as a statement about history
:

"My earlier book towers sought to reflect the fragility of arguments, which are mostly inflexible in a history that is fluid. These towers are an attempt to make physical the Argument. History and the interconnectivity of subject binds these earlier pieces together, as titles play off one another across the surface of each work. These structures are at once cohesive and fragile."
That's all interesting and smart, but I just wanted to have a fort of books. Isn't that enough? Still, way cool exhibit.

Rant: crazy people mixing politics and religion

There are people who think that Obama is a Muslim (or at least want to start the rumor). There are people who think that if he wins that it means that other "Gods" named "Hindu, Buddha, and Allah" are greater than the "Christian" God.

And then there are people who take it to a whole new level. Here's an example:


Block African witchcraft curses against McCain and Palin NOW!
Jim Bramlett
Sep 28 2008 04:12PM

Dear friends:

THIS IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS.

Minutes ago I spoke with friend Dr. Norman G. Marvin, M.D. and he is so concerned at what he has learned about Barack Obama's family in Kenya that he is calling a special prayer meeting in his home to pray against the witchcraft curses attempted by them against John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Dr. Marvin sent me the below e-mail from Flo Ellers. Flo is credentialed with the International Fellowship of Ministries which is based in Washington State. She is also a member of EndTime Handmaidens and Servants of Jasper, Arkansas.

IF YOU KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, PLEASE PRAY TODAY AND CONTINUALLY THAT ALL SUCH CURSES BE BROKEN AND SATAN'S PLAN FOR AMERICA BE DEFEATED, IN JESUS' NAME. PRAY AND COVER MCCAIN AND PALIN WITH THE BLOOD OF CHRIST. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO SPIRITUAL WARFARE, IT IS TIME YOU LEARN!!!

Jim
______________________________________

From Flo Ellers. Excerpt. (Emphasis supplied in bold and underlines.)

Two days ago, I listened to a 9-6-08 message by Bree Keyton, a young woman evangelist who had just traveled to Kenya and visited Obama's home village and what she found out about his relations with his tribal people was chilling. And his "cousin" Odinga was dreadful. She said the witches, warlocks and those involved in satanism and the occult get up daily at 3 a.m. to release curses against McCain and Palin so B. Hussein Obama is elected.

Bree Keyton told the tribal "Christians" you are NOT Christian if you practice "tribalism" where they do voodoo to conjure up a goddess spirit or a "genie" and then come to church on Sunday to worship Jesus! What she discovered there is apparent in most churches around the world; namely, mixture in the church. Some renounced their devilish practices of blood covenant by killing sheep, goats, humans to be inducted into the tribe or to get a wife or to get revenge.

She said the current president of Kenya is a Christian. However, Obama's cousin Odinga ran aganist him and said he rigged the election and stirred up the masses to rape woman and boys, kill and burn and torture Christians, etc. until Obama contacted Condeleeza Rice and she granted Obama the right to contact Odinga and other ruling elders and he "convinced" them to stop terrorizing the Christians. Bree Keyton said the current Christian President was forced by our government (!) to "create" an office for Odinga (to make "peace") so he was made the Prime Minister (!) to make peace between the Christians and Odinga's Muslim religion!

Bree Keyton went and visited Obama's tribal people and she found out Obama is 75% Arab and his family are Muslims. Odinga is strill trying to become the President of Kenya. If he does, he will make a law forbidding all public preaching and institute Sharia Law. Bree K. said Odinga has made a pact with satan.

Bree K. also said when Obama visited his tribe in '06 and as late as Jan. '08 he went to every elder's home which has a "shrine" inside to worship the genie and asked for their blessing. She was told Obama and Odinga were both "destined" before they were born to be president/leader of their nation. They say "he is the chosen one". She said Obama's grandmother sacrificed a black and a white chicken to the "goddess of the river" so both whites and blacks will vote for Obama. All Islam loves and worships Obama. The world is mesmerized by him. Oprah's 200 million followers are out to elect Obama. Also, Dick Morris of Fox News was sent to Kenya to help Odinga run his campaign! I find that unbelievable.

The occultists are "weaving lazy 8's around McCain's mind to make him look confused and like an idiot". Bree K. said we need to break these curses off of him that are being sent from Kenya.

I read a portion of "Obama Nation" book and looked at several websites and found most of this information to be true, all except the curses part, of course....


Isn't it the belief of Christianity that there is only one true God, and that he is their God? Listens only to them? If so, then how on earth could these curses be working? How? I don't get it!

Meanwhile, what the heck is going on here equating these practices with Islam? Have we just gone off the deep end? This is not what Islam is. Even if you've got beef with Islam, it is not, in any way, about curses and voodoo and "genies".

Crap like this leaves me flabbergasted. Although at least McCain's got an excuse now for all his great moments of looking like a dingbat. It's the lazy 8's.

Many thanks to LadyFaces friend and occasional liveblog buddy Walt McGough for the tip.

Glass half full



Make sure to send this to someone you love.

More Zen For Your Workday

Remember the Office Haiku from last week? I'd written them down on Post-It notes and left them on the front desk, sure they'd be gone by today. But when I came into work today, there they were. And with some additions!

From my coworkers:

Copy machine cries.
Trays open and slam with rage.
All it needs is love.

If the tea runs out,
I alone hold the key, I
Am drunk with power.

Every office has
A Dwight Shrute. Can't think of who?
Then it might be you...

Also, because SF thought I took down his haiku:

You hate a haiku
Tell it to that persons face
Lest you be a shit


I love the front deskers.

Tuesday morning science

Look~ it's science!!




I think of it as a reminder to have water with every shot of whiskey.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Either You're With Us Or Against Us

Apparently there's only one way to be an American.


"On MSNBC this morning, McCain adviser Nancy Pfotenhauer asserted that “real Virginia” does not include Northern Virginia:

I certainly agree that Northern Virginia has gone more Democratic. … But the rest of the state — real Virginia if you will — I think will be very responsive to Senator McCain’s message.

MSNBC host Kevin Corke gave Pfotenhauer a chance to revise her answer, telling her: “Nancy, I’m going to give you a chance to climb back off that ledge — Did you say ‘real Virginia’?”

But Pfotenhauer didn’t budge, and instead dug a deeper hole.

Real Virginia, I take to be, this part of the state that’s more Southern in nature, if you will."


As someone who holds Virginia near and dear to her heart, I find that appalling. So what are those other, "non-Southern" Virginians? Are these people who live in Virginia and work in DC? Do they count? Or people who teach at UVa? What makes a "real Virginian," Pfotenhauer? How do you even pronounce your name, anyway?

Plus:
"Palin told a crowd in North Carolina that she “loved to visit the ‘pro-America‘ areas of the country.” “No word on which states she views as unpatriotic,” wrote Juliet Eilperin."
So you have to be in line with the McCain/Palin playbook to be pro-America? Isn't part of being American having the right to disagree? Didn't our founding fathers disagree all over the place? (Thomas Jefferson vs. Alexander Hamilton, anybody?) I might get freaked out by people who have very different views than my own, but that doesn't mean they're not American. We're the freakin' melting pot, people. Let's melt.

Being from a blue state, I'm guessing I live in an "anti-America" area of the country. Thanks, Sarah.

(As for Captain America, I think he'd kick their collective ass.)

The Rainbow Connection

My life would be so much better with my very own Muppet.


It's coming soon to FAO Schwarz.
So they'll each be $35,000, but can you really put a price on being able to walk around with a hysterical piece of foam on your hand?

Babies Can't Do Anything

Now C'mon, Let's Go Get Your Tubes Tied

Girl #1: I don't understand why parents are upset when babies die...it's not like they've accomplished anything.
Girl #2: I think there's more to it than that.

--Howard Ave, Staten Island


via Overheard in New York, Oct 20, 2008

He Eats Things So You Don't Have To


You know when something is past its expiration date, and it looks all right, and you try it, but then you realize that it is, in fact, super yucky? Or when a stray Cheerio falls on the floor and you pick it up, dust it off, and pop it in your mouth? Or when you see the sketchy Chinese in the sketchy food court and think, "But I love orange-flavored beef soooo much?"

Those are just minor food risks compared to what Steve does.


This guy should be on Fear Factor. He'd win big. He doesn't just eat the kind of gross stuff--he goes all out. I mean, this guy ate wild fungus, "silkworm snacks," and Beggin' Strips. Dogs may not know it's not bacon, but Steve sure as hell does. This is NOT for the faint of stomach.

What brings this out of the realm of the third-grade boy is that Steve is really funny. From the Beggin' Strips post:


"Beggin' Strips slogan is "Dogs don't know it's not bacon!" Newsflash: Dogs are retarded. Mine used to eat his own vomit, and wag his tail while he did it. I'll be the one to decide if this stuff tastes like bacon or not."

He may put anything in his mouth, but at least he can joke about it. Plus, he also has warnings for people not to eat the things he's eaten. Because his stomach must be made of steel.

I guess someone on the internet has to eat whatever comes across his path, and Steve's just the guy to do it.

Gives "Wind Power" a Whole New Meaning

I love the song. But what's with the windmill?

More For Cute Monday

By now, you should probably know that I love dailypuppy.com. It's the one site on the internet on which all commenters are overwhelmingly enthusiastic. But sometimes the three most recent "daily puppies" aren't all that adorable. Sure, they're puppies, so they're tiny rays of sunshine, but occasionally I won't ooo and awww as much as I should.

That's not what's going on today. Because it's Cute Monday. Meet your puppies:

1) Zya the Australian Shepherd


2) Louis the Dachshund


3) Braewyn the Basset Hound

Even if it's been a long, hard Monday, at least one of these faces will make you happy.