Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I Also Need This


Because mostly, when I should be working, I'm looking for funny things to post here.

Enter the new application for Mac OS X: SelfControl. It prevents you from procrastinating via the internet. You can block sites like Gmail, Facebook, Youtube, etc. for a set amount of time--say, 90 minutes--while you get work done. That way, you can still use the internet to do some research without automatically checking your email as well. (Been there.) After those 90 minutes are up, you get to waste your time again.

I wish I didn't need this, but I do. It's the reason why I get work done at Starbucks, where I don't buy the internet.

Unless you tell me my procrastination is for the greater good of Lady Faces.

Can I Get This?


I am the worst person in the world at thank-you notes. It takes me months to write them. I get nervous about what I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it, and I avoid it for as long as possible. Sometimes they don't even get done. I have no idea what's going to happen if I get married someday and lots of people give me really nice presents. Can we just say a stamp-on-a-blank-card is an acceptable form of thanks?

Elementary, Watson

Check out the teaser poster for the upcoming Sherlock Homes movie, starring Robert Downey Jr.


Fingers are crossed for awesome!

Leggo My Gogol!

Russia and the Ukraine are battling it out. Not over land disputes or political power. It's all about their respective literary claims to Nikolai Gogol.

Frankly, I'd rather have Gogol from The Namesake, but they take what they can get.

Naturally, Russia claims Gogol as a national writer, because he was born in what as then part of then tsarist Russia, later lived in St. Petersburg, and was buried in Moscow. The Ukraine says that doesn't matter--Gogol was technically born in the Ukraine, so he's Ukrainian.

My favorite throw-downs in this debate:

For the Ukrainian team, Aleksey Vertinsky--an actor at Kiev's academic youth theatre--said: 'They can get lost...If I announce this morning that I'm a blue trolleybus, does it mean I should drive off to the depot?'"

Igor Zolotussky, a Russian authority on Gogol, comes back with: "A part of the political elite in Kiev wants to claim Gogol as their own so they can enter civilised Europe with at least one great Ukrainian writer."

Burn!

We literary nerds don't have much, but we sure do have pride.

Screw the Potassium


Another reason I don't like bananas.

Faces Come Out of the Page

A fun take on "When You're Strange" by the Doors.



People are strange from Denis Fongue on Vimeo.


It's like MTV meets Reading Rainbow.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Where Have All the Songbirds Gone?



Is this worse than the disappearance of honey bees? Or because of it? The same idea?

Insect-eating birds are disappearing all over North America, and scientists are trying to figure out what's up. Some ideas: a lack of nesting areas, a lack of food, destruction of wetlands, etc. Unfortunately, biologists are still not sure what exactly is going on to create such a drastic decrease in the populations of these birds.

“Is it a food problem?” asks biologist Pamela Hunt, chair of the Nightjar Working Group. “We don’t know. Something is going on because all these aerial insectivores are suffering.”


It's not good when biologists are worried and have no idea what's the cause.

I'm especially worried because I hate bugs, so what's going to happen to us if all the bug-eating birds are gone? We're going to get eaten by bugs, that's what.

Save the birds. Save the world.

I'll Take Transportation for 100

Stock up on your useless trivia and impress your friends/coworkers/fellow public transportation riders. Or just waste your own time and read through Wikipedia's List of Common Misconceptions.

A few favorites:

  • Some believe that the sky looks blue because it reflects the color of the ocean.The sky actually looks blue because the color of air varies with the viewing angle to the illumination source. Sunlight reflected (scattered) from the air is of shorter wavelengths toward the violet end of the visible spectrum, while the remaining transmitted sunlight has longer wavelengths of the red end of the spectrum. In fact, the sun appears reddish in the evening because the transmitted sunlight has lost much of its blue wavelengths because of scattering, leaving only the long wavelength red light to reach the observer. This phenomenon is referred to as Rayleigh Scattering.
  • The notion that goldfish have a memory of only three seconds is completely false[67]. They have been trained to navigate mazes and can recognize their owners after an exposure of a few months.
  • The Pilgrims did not dress only in black, nor did they have buckles on their hats or shoes.
  • Entrapment law in the United States does not forbid police officers from going undercover, or from denying that they are police. It is a common misconception among persons engaged in low-level crime that if an undercover police officer is asked, "Are you a cop?" that they must reveal themselves to avoid entrapment.

Also see: List of Misquotations.

I Have You Now...Cake


Baked good day at Lady Faces?

Check out the awesome Darth Vader birthday cake by the Bleeding Heart Bakery. This is not something you can get from your local supermarket.

Does the exposed Darth Vader head (reminiscent of The Return of the Jedi) suggest that Vader is ready to reject the dark side and wish you a happy birthday? Is this a cake for kids who have absent fathers?

The problem with freakishly awesome cakes is that I wouldn't want to eat them! They're too cool to eat! But then again, I wouldn't want delicious cake to go to waste. And Darth Vader is evil...he might have an exposed head, but his eyes say "death." So eating him might, in fact, be better for the universe.

Batman Through the Years




This takes me back. Which bat is your favorite?

Be Afraid, Cupcake

The cupcake has been the most popular baked good for several years now. After the ladies of Sex and the City hit Magnolia Bakery, people couldn't get enough. Cupcakes went from being those things you brought into classrooms for birthdays to the baked good everybody wanted. They went from standard chocolate/vanilla varieties to specialty flavors like Key Lime Pie and S'mores. People served cupcakes instead of slices of cakes at their weddings. Cupcakes were the hip dessert.

Until now.

Welcome to town, Whoopie Pie.

Recently, the New York Time claimed that the whoopie pie was the new cupcake. What's a whoopie pie? If you live in New England or Pennsylvania, you might already know. Whoopie pies aren't pies at all. In fact, they kind of resemble an ice cream sandwich--two soft 'cookies' (cakes?) with a whipped frosting in between. Usually they come in chocolate or pumpkin, but bakers have been trying a bunch of different varieties. (Key Lime Whoopie Pie?)

So what's with the name?


"Food historians believe whoopie pies originated in Pennsylvania, where they were baked by Amish women and put in farmers’ lunchboxes.

Tired from a morning’s work, the farmers purportedly would shout 'Whoopie!' if they discovered one of the desserts in their lunch pails, Ms. Emberling said."


That's pretty adorable. I'd love to see an Amish farmer shout "Whoopie!"

The article also mentions whoopie pies sold at Kim's Kitchen in Evanston. Having frequented Kim's one summer, I can attest to their delicious food. Anyone in the area should go give their whoopie pies a try.

With a potluck this weekened, I thought it was the perfect time to try my own whoopie pies. This is the recipe I used for the cakes and this is the frosting. (A lot of recipes include a recipe for a frosting involving egg whites, which have to be cooked in a double boiler. Too complicated and unneccessary, I think.) I'd definitely make these again. A couple of recommendations: my oven cooked the 'cookie' parts much faster--in only about eight minutes--so keep an eye on them. And I used just a cup of whipping cream for the frosting instead of a cup and a half, and it was plenty whipped-creamy.

It's a super fun dessert and definitely worth a try for your next group-dinner function. Is it the new cupcake? Only time (and stomachs) will tell.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Monster Island

Check out the new Where the Wild Things Are trailer.





I'm actually pretty excited about it. Usually I get upset when people try to adapt classic children's stories into full-length movies, but hopefully the Wild Things team has done a good job of expanding the book into a film without compromising the tone or story. (One thing I am worried about--the moment with the mother and the guy and the wine. Do we need that angle?) And it looks like they've done a great job with the monsters--actual costumes vs. CGI?

A confession: I didn't really like Where the Wild Things Are when I was a kid. It upset me that Max kind of conquered the wild things. It was their land! Max shouldn't have taken over! But here it looks like Max is less of a brat--chasing the dog with a fork,and growling at his mom--and more of a dreamy kid. So the movie actually might sway my opinion for the better.

Can I Google Earth That?

Little Red Riding Hood, the Ikea way.



SlagsmÄlsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

Witty Banter


Total Film has put together a list of 10 Top Movie Put Downs. Mostly, I think the list isn't impressive. (#10--Schwarzenegger says, “Well that hit the spot!”when the villain explodes in his own soda ad. Kind of lame, if you ask me.) Most are just okay.

My favorite movie put down? It's got to be from Kill Bill, Vol. 2:


Elle Driver: That's right. I killed your master. And now I'm gonna kill you too, with your own sword, no less, which in the very immediate future, will become... my sword.
The Bride: Bitch, you don't have a future.


Hell yeah! Plus it precedes a pretty awesome fight scene. Definitely kick-ass.

You Don't Need Fingers to Be a Musical Prodigy

Animals like to have fun, too. I know it can be weird when they're in a captive area, with shows every few hours, but that doesn't mean that sometimes animals are looking for a little creativity and entertainment themselves.

Take Moko, the 5-year-old walrus. Trainers caught her blowing on a hose pipe, so they gave her Swiss horn instead. And frankly, she's better than I am.





Next thing we need? A duet.

Kiss kiss, Moko!

In the Fight Between Pumba and Simba, Pumba Would Win

He's not just trying to get away from the lion--pig is pissed off!





I bet the lion is not going to discuss this encounter back at the pride.

I Thought Only My Mom Still Used Hotmail

I'm really surprised about this study concerning email client usage. Seriously, that low, Gmail? Even below Yahoo Mail? I thought I was alone in my secret love for Yahoo, but apparently I'm not the only one.


Obviously Outlook is big because it's a major email device for office computers. But don't these people also have Gmail accounts? What are they doing all day, instead of gchatting with their friends? They can't actually be getting work done. Maybe they're all standing by the water cooler, talking loudly and annoying everybody else.

Gmail, you need to step it up.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Minutes




"Having a phone isn't even a privilege anymore -- it's a necessity," said Rommel McBride, 50, who spent about six years on the streets before recently being placed in a city housing program. He has had a mobile phone for a year. "A cellphone is the only way you can call to keep up with your food stamps, your housing application, your job. When you're living in a shelter or sleeping on the streets, it's your last line of communication with the world."



From an interesting article about cell phones and the homeless. I've got to admit, I've seen homeless people with cell phones and thought "Really, you can't afford food but you can afford a cell phone." But this article points out that a cell phone can be a lifeline for people forced to live on the streets. The pay-as-you-go phones offer flexibility for people who can't afford a contract and don't have an address to which you can send bills. And it's potentially a way for people to get contacted about jobs.

Smoosh!

I don't know why I love this so much. It makes my stomach hurt with laughter!







Smoosh! Smoosh!

Not-So-Secret Identity


Meet Jake. He made a bet with his coworker, Kevin, about whether or not this video could get at least 50 likes in 24 hours. Jake lost, and now he has to spend the week dressed as the Flash. Kevin will be documenting Jake's superhero skills--faster than a speeding copier! more powerful than a post-lunch crash!--on Flickr. Follow Jake as he fights crime and tries to get some work done.

I need to do this in my office!

Rain Is Your Enemy


Once you can slice through every raindrop, then you will truly be a warrior.

The Legend Begins


"The little dudes are just eggs, we leave 'em on a beach to hatch, and then, coo-coo-cachoo, they find their way back to the big ol' blue."


Go baby turtles, go! Ninja power!

Children's Author Quote of the Day




When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.
Madeleine L'Engle, "Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art", 1980
US juvenile science fiction novelist (1918 - 2007)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Dennis the Menace

Melissa? Iiiiiinteresting.
EMT #1, to vomiting wino: What's your name?
Wino: Dennis.
EMT #1: Dennis? Okay, Dennis, we're gonna...
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #1: What?
Wino: (unintelligible muttering)
EMT #2: Well, what's your name when you're not drunk?

--Broadway & Astor Place

Overheard by: Rachel Silver
via Overheard in New York, Mar 24, 2009


That kind of makes me want to invent a whole drunk persona.

So Say We All


Adama and Mal are my favorite space captain heroes.

(If anyone posts any spoilers for Battlestar Galactica, I will kill you.)

Still Better Than Babalities


Get over here!

No Love For the Dinosaur


Some people like to go to auctions for antique furniture. Some for art. Some go to acquire pieces for museums. But apparently no one goes to get the dryosaurus.

(I mean, it's called a dryosaurus. I think Kenmore tried to market that in the 90s.)

Apparently the dryosaurus is a 9-foot-long, long-necked, plant-eating dinosaur from the Jurassic era. But its skeleton failed to sell for the $500,000 I.M. Chait Gallery was asking for.

A couple of museums are still interested, so it's not like the dinosaur skeleton won't have a home. But honestly, $5000,00 doesn't seem like that much. Instead of buying a home, you could buy a dinosaur. That's way more impressive to your friends!

My favorite part of the article:

"An 18,000-year-old, 7-foot-tall and 15-foot-long skeleton of a teenage woolly mammoth from Siberia took the auction's top price, fetching close to $60,000 [and was] bought by [a] private collection.

'The woolly is so special because it wasn't fully grown and can therefore fit in someone's living room,' says Josh Chait, director of operations at the gallery. 'A collector's dream.'"


The gift for the person who has everything--the woolly mammoth.

Flashback to Fifth Grade

Geez, I loved this movie.




Way better than that Shirley Temple crap.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Ow! My Eye!

From the good people who brought you Forrest Gump in One Minute comes Kill Bill 1 and 2 in One Minute.





I love the cardboard Pussy Wagon!

The Oopma Loompa Song is Terrifying

You thought the tunnel scene in the original Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was as scary as it could get? Check out this trailer parody for a horror-Willie Wonka.




So that's what Christopher Lloyd's been up to! I've got to say, he's pretty fantastic (and creepy).

Meet Me at the Accordian Players' Graveyard

For all you Tom Waits fans...



From the picture here, it looks like Tom Waits grew up in the same world as the Baudelaire orphans.

Of Course They're Classics!


Harry Potter covers redesigned to look like Penguin Classics.

Now if only they would release the movie!

Mercenary For Justice (Yes!)

Steven Seagal looks at different scripts, and has some ideas...


Sunday, March 22, 2009

From Google's "Quotes of the Day"


A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.

- Thomas Mann


Well timed, Google. Thesis crunch time continues.

Jealous


I wish I could there! And I wish I were one of the authors!

Plus, it's at Books of Wonder, quite possibly the best bookstore ever.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Hot Tranny Mess

Kenley was pretty selfish and bitchy on Project Runway, but now her crazy is shining through. Apparently she freaked out at her fiance/boyfriend/whatever and threw a cat (???), water, and three apples at him, and smashed his head against a doorframe.

Here, Tim Gunn talks about how Kenley's a crazy bitch.




I'm so glad he had the chance to say this. You cross the Gunn and you get shot!

Better Than an Autograph


I hope this is for real! Because I would love to think that Steve Martin is that funny (and warm and polite and intelligent.)

The only way to prove it? I need to meet Steve Martin. Steve, are you up for coffee?

Movin' on Up

Where does your favorite sitcom family live?



And more importantly, where is their kitchen?

Spring Has (Almost) Sprung


Happy first day of spring, everybody!

At least it's sunny today here. Although apparently it was snowing in New York this morning. Mother Nature's a bitch.

It'll still be a while before it's really spring, but the point is that it's coming. I can feel it. Light jackets are ready for their 2009 debut! The trees are ready for leaves! I am ready to not make funny noises* when I get cold!


*You know, hooting, purring, whatever.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Put on Your Red




It's Saint Joseph's Day!

While not as well-known as Saint Patrick's Day, Saint Joseph's Day is just as kick-ass. Basically it's the Italian version. So put on a red shirt, call you girl friends "Bella," eat some pasta and drink some wine. Because you know that one holiday a week isn't enough.

The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." But the great shepherd makes them dance!

Welsh shepherds are the coolest people ever.




Firework sheep! Walking sheep! Baaamazing!

Better Than SkyMall




Can I have him on my next flight?

I Can Do the Frug

Anyone have this song or know where I can find it?






I wish I could rock, because all the cool rock chicks are redheads.

Does that Make Mo the Rorschach?

I love trailer parodies, and this is one of the best I've seen in a while.





Wall-E > Watchmen.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

A Moment With the Caterpillar

Who doesn't love The Very Hungry Caterpillar? We didn't have a copy of this at home, but I clearly remember my preschool teacher reading it to us. With naptime afterwards, it was the perfect afternoon. And apparently, author Eric Carle is just as charming as his books. It's the Caterpillar's 40th anniversary and Carle, at 80, is still a champion of beautifully illustrated, adorable books for children.


"My friends, my family, my editors, my publisher, we all wondered why it's been so successful," Carle says. "It is a book about hope. If you're an insignificant caterpillar, you can grow up to be a big butterfly in the world."

Oh my lord, I think my heart just grew three sizes.

But his life hasn't been all caterpillars and brown bears. Growing up in Nazi Germany, Carle's father was drafted (and was later sent to a Russian prison camp) while the family lived in fear of being bombed. One day, a Nazi officer came and told Carle's mother, "Your son tomorrow morning has to report to the railroad station, we'll give him a bazooka." Thankfully, she didn't let him go, and Carle survived. He moved to America in 1952 and would publish his first book at the age of 38.

About his books, Carle says:

"With my books, I try to recapture a period I should've had and didn't—for more fun, more nonsense, more humor."

It's a good thing to get out of the horrors of Nazi Germany.

Also, Carle sounds absolutely wonderful in person as well as in print:

"He's a delightful host whose stories are punctuated by affectionate smiles. His house in Florida is bathed in color. The sun pours into the kitchen and big windows peer out to the blue coast. His desk is covered in scraps of rainbow tissue paper. He makes sure that every fan who writes to him gets a response. He also spends a great deal of time maintaining the country's first picture-book museum, which opened six years ago in Amherst, Mass...He hasn't written a book in two years, but he says that's only because he's content with taking it easy. He likes to sleep in, play solitaire and go for walks."


It's the ideal life for a children's writer--having such success and getting to live your life with your family. Plus, I really want to visit the picture-book museum now, and to write Carle a letter. (I'd get a response!)

I think this afternoon I'll have a graham cracker, some milk, and curl up with a hungry caterpillar.

Time Is on My Side



A few favorite fun facts from 20 Things You Didn't Know About Time.

  • The average U.S. city commuter loses 38 hours a year to traffic delays.
  • The Department of Energy estimates that electricity demand drops by 0.5 percent during Daylight Saving Time, saving the equivalent of nearly 3 million barrels of oil.
  • By observing how quickly bank tellers made change, pedestrians walked, and postal clerks spoke, psychologists determined that the three fastest-paced U.S. cities are Boston, Buffalo, and New York.
  • The three slowest? Shreveport, Sacramento, and L.A.
  • One second used to be defined as 1/86,400 the length of a day. However, Earth’s rotation isn’t perfectly reliable. Tidal friction from the sun and moon slows our planet and increases the length of a day by 3 milli­seconds per century.
  • This means that in the time of the dinosaurs, the day was just 23 hours long.
  • Time has not been around forever. Most scientists believe it was created along with the rest of the universe in the Big Bang, 13.7 billion years ago.
  • There may be an end of time. Three Spanish scientists posit that the observed acceleration of the expanding cosmos is an illusion caused by the slowing of time. According to their math, time may eventually stop, at which point everything will come to a standstill.
If time is slowing down, does that mean I have more time to finish my thesis?

On My Way to Where the Air Is Sweet

One of the fun things about Sesame Street is getting to see the celebrities they ask to the show. A recent favorite is Feist's appearance--her song makes counting fun! But there are more great celebrity moments from the street.

One of my favorites is Natalie Portman's adorable scene with Elmo. If the new Star Wars movies had been this cute, they would have been so much beloved. Another is Patrick Stewart's Shakespearean take on the letter B. It's hysterical, it teaches kids about letters, and it hides a chip in their brain that will make them love Shakespeare. The crazy award definitely goes to Richard Pyror's alphabet. He's a little aggressive and kind of reminds me of a homeless guy on the street mumbling to himself. But I guess kids have to learn somehow, right?

It's a fine list, and 100% of these I hadn't seen before. But I'd also like to reference some of more classic Sesame Street celebrity guest spots. When I was little I loved these:

1) Smokey Robinson--"U" Really Got a Hold on Me



My favorite video on Sesame Street. It's hysterical and I freakin' love this song.

2) Itzak Perlman--Beethoven's Minuet in G



Years later, I saw Itzak Perlman on TV and asked my mom "Who is that guy? Why do I know him?" and she explained how he was a famous violinist. I said that wasn't it, and she said, "Well, he was on Sesame Street," and I cried, "That's it!" See, it's that little cultural chip that gets implanted in your brain.

3) Cab Calloway--Hi De Ho Man



By the time I was old enough to see The Blues Brothers, I already loved Cab Calloway.

4) Wynton Marsalis--Jazz with Hoots the Owl



I love anything with Hoots, and this makes me feel super hip even now.

Who were your favorite Sesame Street celebrities?

A Note For Wednesday




When I came into work this morning, I found this on my desk:

"You suck if you're new.
Hi Annie!"

From my old coworkers! I miss them; we were the golden era of office assistants. Take that, newbs!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Meaty Read


The creators of the Bacon Explosion have landed a six-figure book deal. Apparently they're penning the forthcoming Barbecue Makes Everything Better. But don't expect this to include the infamous bacon recipe--everyone already knows that one. They'll be providing new recipes for the meat-lover.

As much as I love the Bacon Explosion, I'm wary of a book. What is this, Stuff White People Like: The Book? Do we really need another blog-book? Of course, at least this one is more of a cookbook, but why buy a copy when I can get the same thing for free online?

Plus, six figures? Really?

Oy Vey


Okay, Pope Benedict. I get that the church doesn't exactly get behind contraception. But seriously? Condoms are not the answer in Africa's fight against HIV? In what ideal world is everyone going to practice abstinence. That's like saying people should just not shoot each other--then we wouldn't need gun laws. You need to live in reality, in which people have sex.

Not to say that handing out condoms is the answer. People need sex education. (Having sex with a virgin does not cure AIDS.) People need the opportunity to practice safe sex. People need to live without fear of getting raped.

Again, I understand that the church does not promote extramarital sex or contraception in general. But I think it's ridiculous for the pope to say that abstinence is the answer. He'd be better off just saying the church wants to help people in Africa get clean water/food/end violence.

A Green Hero


xkcd keeps raising the bar on webcomics.

Jurassic Water Park


You can see why people thought there were sea monsters. Because basically, there are: giant squid, sharks, etc. But the most terrifying of sea creatures lived along with the dinosaurs. If you time traveled back to those days, you'd be better off fighting the giant land creatures because, frankly, the sea dinosaurs were even more deadly.

Take this recent fossil discovery. It's of a 50 ft long marine reptile from the Jurassic era, with a bite force of 33,000 lbs per square inch. So it could crush anything it wanted.


"'With a skull that's more than 10 feet long you'd expect the bite to be powerful but this is off the scale,' said Joern Hurum, an associate professor of vertebrate paleontology at the Natural History Museum of Oslo University. 'This one is more like it could crush a Hummer.'"


Well that's one way to take out gas-guzzling vehicles.

Plus, the creature's name so far? Predator X. Just wait until this one gets made into its own direct-to-video release. (You've got competition now, Megalodon!)

The fossil was discovered on the Norwegian Arctic archipelago of Svalbard. For all the book nerds out there, Svalbard is where the armored bears live. Only an armored bear could take on Predator X!

A Little Irish Poetry

Happy St. Patrick's Day! In honor of the Irish, here's one of my favorite Seamus Heaney poems:

Postscript

And some time make the time to drive out west
Into County Clare, along the Flaggy Shore,
In September or October, when the wind
And the light are working off each other
So that the ocean on one side is wild
With foam and glitter, and inland among stones
The surface of a slate-grey lake is lit
By the earthed lightening of flock of swans,
Their feathers roughed and ruffling, white on white,
Their fully-grown headstrong-looking heads
Tucked or cresting or busy underwater.
Useless to think you'll park or capture it
More thoroughly. You are neither here nor there,
A hurry through which known and strange things pass
As big soft buffetings come at the car sideways
And catch the heart off guard and blow it open.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Coffee and Bitterness


Because I was on a plane yesterday, which makes me feel that the human race is more obnoxious than usual, I'd like to reference Starbucks-employee/kick-ass blogger 147xxxx:

" Saying something like“I don’t mean to be annoying, but can you ____” doesn’t make what you’re requesting less annoying. If anything, it makes you and what you’re saying more annoying because you recognize how annoying it is and make the decision to do it regardless of said annoyance.

I don’t mind if you take awhile to get your perfect change together. I do however mind when someone doesn’t have enough change, and asks me if I’m cool with him (it’s always a dude) being short the 54¢, or if its okay that he pays $1.23 for a $1.90 drink. I’m you’re barista in Starbucks, sir, its not like I’m dealing fake fendi bags in a secret upstairs room in the back of a big store down in Chinatown. You can’t bargain here. you want drink, you payy."




Who walks among us?!

The rest of the blog is awesome, too. Check it out.

I Am My Own Publicist


A little time to toot my own horn, because I'm pretty excited.

You may like the work of Annie via blog, but wait until you see her fiction! That's right, she lies like the best of them.

I have a short-short story about a girl carnie at the Shine Journal.

In May my crazy mom story will be at Ozone Park.

In June another short-short story will be in Vestal Review. (In print!)

And way in the future, yet another short-short will be in the Georgetown Review. (Also in print!)

Okay, enough personal stuff. Back to the work distractions!

Divas Aren't Fooling Anyone

Usually I don't find Sarah Silverman all that funny, but she is totally on target about self-labeled "divas." Stop being a bitch already!

Newest TV Obsession


I'm not hugely into sci-fi. I love the original Star Wars movies, but I think part of that has to do with the fact that I grew up with it. (I had a Princess Leia doll before I was four.) I love Firefly, but I love anything Joss Whedon does. (Plus, he always examines genres in a really interesting way). But as a genre, I don't tend to get into sci-fi a lot.*

Which is why my new affection for Battlestar Galactica took me by surprise.

It's pretty standard sci-fi when you boil it down to major plot points: robots got smart and rebelled; the human race is trying to survive; they fly around space. Not exactly the space-cowboys of Firefly.

But I think Battlestar Galactica goes to show that, whatever your premise, with kick-ass characters and brilliant writers, your show is going to be a hit. At least with me.

So far I've only seen the first few episode of season 1, but I'm looking forward to more. And Admiral Adama** might have to be added to my secret family tree.

*Confession time: I only read the first Hitchhiker's Guide book. I thought it was funny but I didn't care enough to pick up the rest. Sorry!
**Obama? Adama? Coincidence?

How Many Movies Are Worth This?


But then again, the popcorn is like freakin' crack.

The Numbers:

1929
Movie - $4.32 ($0.35 pre-inflation)
Popcorn - $0.62 ($0.05 pre-inflation)

2009
Movie - $7.20
Popcorn - $4.75

Ouch! Popcorn prices increased like crazy. And yet I still love it so much!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Speaking of Abbott and Costello...

Their classic sketch, with words.





These guys are awesome.

Abott and Costello...Burns and Allen...

Ricky Gervais and Elmo--a modern comic duo.




They look like they're having so much fun!

"Do you know what necrophilia is?"

Like Hundreds of Balloons in Your Mouth

Aeros aren't my favorite foreign candy, but this commercial is fun.





I get that the idea is they're brown because it's a chocolate bar, but I'd like to skateboard through a bunch of blue balloons. It would be like skating through water!

Play With Your Food

Food art, by Edith Zimmerman.


How can you eat your veggies when they're so crazy looking?!

I've Never Seen Pandas Work So Hard


Is there a mountain of bamboo up there?

Fun With Titles

Remember how funny things were without being Photoshopped? Well, when you change things just a little, they get hysterical. With just one letter changed in the title of these well-known movies, things get a little crazy. And possibly better than the actual movie.

Just a few favorites:


There are a ton more, so go check them out. Great job to everyone who participated in the One Letter Off Challenge!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Karma's a Bitch

It was a glorious day for the kids in the park.





Take that, douche in a car! Gram will kick your ass!

I Have Six Standard Airbags




Man, I really wish this was a real commercial. I would so buy a Nissan.

Team Edward Will Be Disappointed Forever

Hank and Katherine take on the Edward Cullen complex. Really, it could also be a song for Jacob.





Edward + Bella < Hank + Katherine

"I hope someday his child will rip its way out of your womb.*"

*Why am I obsessed with the scary homemade Bella womb? It's terrifying!

Productivity Crash


Replace 'twitter' with 'tumblr' and that would be me.

My Life in a Cube gets it right no matter where I'm trying to do work.