Oh. My. God.
I love Newsies. I love it even more now.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Popular Author Smackdown!
Mega-author Stephen King knows a thing or two about selling books. So does Stephanie Meyer, author of the uber popular Twilight series. But Stephen King has called her bluff: he says she can't write "worth a darn."
That's right, a darn!
When asked about popular authors such as Meyer and JK Rowling (my imaginary mom), King had this to say:
"Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."
Fight!
Okay, I actually agree with King. Is Meyer as bad as the Clique books? No, thank goodness. But she's not exactly grabbing people for her characterization or way with words. It's all plot. It's fun and exciting and addictive. Sure, you could say the same about a lot of King's books, but I think he can also write interesting character studies as well. (They're just buried under a lot of gore.)
Of course, this won't take anything away from Meyer's sales. In fact, I think her legion of fans might attack King in the streets someday soon. Better start watching your back, Stephen.
Good thing he didn't say anything bad about JK. Then he'd be on my enemy list, too!
Like the Awkward Street Half-Wave
From My Life in a Cube:
This happens to me all the time when people pass by my desk. Apparently I'm too eager for conversation.
Welcome to the Jungle
Giraffes are great. They're elegant; they're unqiue; they have those black tongues. Who doesn't love them?
Other giraffes, apparently. I never thought giraffes could fight!
The sounds!
Get on This, Marketing
I love movie trailers and posters. They offer so much promise to a potentially sucky movie. But I love them even more when people mess with them. Enter Movie Poster Honesty. A few favorites:
Don't Write That Guy
From film to TV, we've all seen them: the Hollywood cliches. They're the characters that show up everywhere, even in films that are otherwise fantastic. Sometimes writers can use cliches to explore what we know about truth and culture. Sometimes it's just lazy. So James Hudnall has put together his Top 10 Cliches That Need to Die. It's surprisingly conservative actually, and overall I'm in agreement. A lot of them are just racist/stereotypical and yet somehow fly under the offensive radar. A few that have annoyed me:
3. The Evil Christian: "Christians are always shown to be hypocrites and phonies. They’re never good people. They’re exposed as pious frauds when their “true colors” are revealed. Every group of people has their bad apples. To constantly paint Christians in this way because of a few is pathetic. You want to be seen as tolerant and yet to resort to these abysmally vicious clichés?"
Example: Chocolat. (The book is actually a lot worse than the movie; at least in the movie, people discover that the basis of Christianity is actually the idea that maybe we can all try to get along.)
I've always felt weird about this one, coming from a Christian background myself. How is it that Christians are always narrow-minded--isn't it narrow-minded to portray them that way? (The offshoot is #6 Pedophile Priest. The sex abuse scandal was horrifying, but I know a ton of awesome priests. How is it that none of them get recognition?)
4. The Stupid Dad/Male: "In Hollywood movies men are...almost always either buffoons, geeks or dumb jocks. Women are always smarter. Men can’t do anything without a woman telling them what to do. And fathers can’t take care of the kids. They can’t cook dinner or even be good parents. They’re always too busy to spend time with their kids, or they do idiotic things that get the family into constant trouble."
Example: Almost any commercial involving families at home.
This is a pet peeve of mine. The worst of this exists on TV, both in commercials and actual shows. In an era of supposed gender equality, why do men constantly get portrayed as idiots at home? Wouldn't it be better for everyone if guys could be portrayed as intelligent fathers/husbands/homemakers? I don't want to marry a guy who doesn't know what the toaster does.
9: Wise Trashy People: "According to Hollywood: hookers, homeless and bizarre lifestyle people are the normal ones. They know what’s 'really going on, man.' They’re just being honest. Everyone else is a freak. People who act normal are all depraved and sick. The suburbs are a place of spiritual death. The only truth lies in Bohemia."
Example: Rent.
At 14, I thought this was totally true--I had to escape suburbia. Screw you, Mom and Dad! Except looking back, it's a totally idealized life. Know what's not fun? Having no health insurance and being worried about feeding your family. Does that give you a kind of insight? Sure, but not in an idealized way. Plus, the 'wise trashy people' exist to further the internal experience of someone who's better off. They're almost never their own person, with their own concerns. Plus, it's another reason to hate Pretty Woman.
I'd also add the Manic Pixie Dream Girl to this list--perhaps a more recent development in film cliches.
I feel strangely conservative agreeing with this list. And I love Chocolat and Rent. (I don't love Pretty Woman.) But I think stereotypes are still creepy even when they're not something society deems offensive. And really, can't we come up with something more creative?
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Dr. Horrible-r?
Dare I say it? A sequel to Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog?
Nathan Fillion says there might be one in the works:
"There is talk about a Dr. Horrible sequel. It's actually in one of the songs on the Dr. Horrible DVD commentary music."
Of course, Fillion also mentions that Joss Whedon is really busy right now, so I shouldn't hold my breath. But I hope this means more sing-along fun for everyone in the near future. Heck, I'd even settle for totally different short musical movies.
Basically, Joss Whedon and Nathan Fillion could get wasted and tape themselves doing karaoke and I'd think it was brilliant.
Speaking of Explosive Responses
Christian Bale can probably relate to the People Who Deserve It rage. But instead of writing a blog about it, he just yells at people. Now he's been caught on tape freaking out at a director of photography who walked onto a shot of his new Terminator movie.
You can hear it all here.
I get that it's not a great idea to mess up a shot. It takes a lot to get into a scene--not just from the actors, but from everyone on set. Plus, film itself costs a ton of money. You mess up a scene, that's thousands of dollars out the window. So I could understand if Bale had been kind of miffed. But he leaves miffed behind and goes right to douchebag. An utterance of annoyance? Sure. A fifteen minute diatribe that wastes even more time for everyone on set? Selfish and obnoxious.
Also, it's the second time Bale has been caught freaking out at people. Last time he was involved in a scandal, it was because he allegedly freaked out at his mother and sister. (He didn't face charges.)
Is it going to hurt his career? Not at all. But is it going to break my heart a little every time I see Little Women. You bet.
Feel the Hate
Admit it: we're all terrible people on the inside. Today I thought about how I hate people at the gym who take up locker room benches with their crap. (I need a place to sit and take off my shoes, but excuse me, the entire contents of your locker are here already. Obviously they have preference. Ass.)
So People Who Deserve It is such a cathartic blog. For a little while, you can feel like you're not alone in the world--other people have the same pet peeves. And maybe this realization won't make you fly into a blinding rage next time someone hogs the armrest.
Some recent favorites (with my comments, so you can enjoy theirs via
the link):
#88 - Last Question Class Extender: Oh my lord, I'm so glad I'm not in lecture classes anymore, because I used to hate this person. If you really need a question answered, ask the professor after class. Don't waste my time; I need my coffee and I need it now.
#82 - Two Spot Parker: I know parking can be tough. I'm not a fan of driving, and it gets me nervous trying to squeeze between two cars. But to take up two spaces and not even try? That makes me want to key your car.
#34 - Slow Walker Sidewalk Blocker: Not as recent, but this one is near and dear to my heart. I'm not a stroller. I hate being stuck behind people who think they've got all day to get somewhere. Especially when they're three in a row and clog up the sidewalk. I might kill one of these people someday.
Find your own least favorite person!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Fuck You, Groundhog
It's Groundhog Day. Woohoo.
As someone who has a holiday birthday, I don't want to offend anyone who might actually like Groundhog Day. But as someone who lives in the northeast, it's like lemon juice on a paper cut. It's the beginning of Febuary. Snow is on the ground. It will be there for the next three months. Even Easter won't be that warm. And some groundhog has to pop out of the ground to tell me there's six more weeks of winter? Just six? Don't you mean twelve? Why are you mocking me, rodent?!
Psh. Beavers and otters are way better, anyway.
I'll just go put on my mittens now.
Smart Is Sexy
When I was in fifth grade, I had my first sex ed class. It was part of our science curriculum, so the woman who had, for the passed few months, been talking about gravity and the animal kingdom was suddenly using words like 'penis' and 'intercourse.' Needless to say, there was a lot of giggling. Even so, my middle school was fairly good about sex ed. We touched on the subject every year or so, with basic scientific and emotional information. Since it was a Quaker school, things were fairly liberal, so our book actually covered issues like HIV, checking yourself for breast cancer, and masturbation. At one point in seventh grade, all the girls in my class got to hang out in the science room with our female teacher and talk about body image concerns and menstruation. It was actually kind of nice and mature.
But not everyone gets that, especially now that we're older and getting tons of sexualized images from society. What's normal? What's going on? What's risky? What are other people doing.
Enter Sex Appeal.
It's a new website for discussion/education/fun articles about sexual health:
"Sex Appeal is a site for people in their 20s to learn, discuss, and share sexual health information. Our mission is to promote sexual communication and understanding through education and open dialogue.
Sex doesn’t have to be serious but sexual health does."
In our 20s, it's good to have an outlet to learn and discuss these issues--from gynecologist appointments to the redefinition of sex to sex in the political sphere. Of course, alongside less serious issues like condom ringtones and how to maneuver relationships in a more sexualized era. Check out Sex Appeal for both the serious and the humorous. It'll be updated regularly.
Plus, founder/managing editor Julia is pretty up-to-date about sexual health issues. She's taught HIV/AIDS education in Malawi and India, conducted sexual health communication research in South Africa, and works for the Boston University School of Public Health. She's got the answers to your questions!
I'll be blogging there regularly as well. Make sure to check it out!
I Love the 80s
My Little Pony. Leg warmers. Leggings. And now, the Rubik's Cube.
What decade are we living in again?
At least, this time around, the Rubik's Cube is getting an upgrade. Reclusive Professor Rubik has developed a new edition of the popular, brain-hemorrhage-inducing toy. Now, instead of it being a cube with various colored squares to line up, it's a set of transparent spheres and colorful balls. (The square is so 20th century.) This time, you need to get the colorful balls from an inner transparent sphere into their corresponding slots on the other sphere via lots of shaking.
It doesn't sound like it has quite the same appeal. I mean, shaking? Doesn't that remind you of those hand-held games filled with water, in which you'd press a button and try to get floating basketballs/mermaids/chickens to land in a hoop/shell/nest?
Sometimes you just can't beat the original.
Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in the Water
In other sports news, Michael Phelps--super Olympian fish-man swimmer--has been photographed smoking marijuana. From a bong. (Somehow that makes it seem even more frattish.)
His statement:
"I'm 23 years old, and despite the successes I have had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me. For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public -- it will not happen again."
All in all, it doesn't sound like that's totally out of the ordinary behavior. He's a 23 year-old guy. I bet I could find a lot of twenty-something guys who have tried pot. (Shocking!) But he's also one of the biggest athletes in the world, so he's got to be careful about his image, especially considering that drunk driving incident from a few years ago. (Frankly, I'd be more upset about that. Pot's illegal, but getting in a car drunk can kill someone else. Don't kill someone because you're an idiot.) Sure, he's a young man just like any other, but this could cost him some sponsorship deals.
My big question: how will the smoking affect his lung capacity?
Unless he figures out how Kate Moss survived the coke thing.
Superbowl recap.
What a night for television it turned out to be. Like anyone else not living in Pittsburgh or Arizona, I really wasn't all that excited for the match up. You had a dynasty of a team vs. a no-name. No one was really expecting the Cardinals to give the Steelers a run for their money, but they did, and they made it a good game.
But as a TV girl what do I care about? How good the TV was. There were some fun moments, the Boss Crotch (watch this video at 3:37 to see what I'm talking about), the Alec Baldwin Hulu commercial -- heck, I even enjoyed most of the complete nonstop plugging of NBC Monday night. But the weirdest part, for me, was the use of an SNL skit as a commercial. That's what I'm talking about Pepsuber.
Now, if it had just been the commercial that would have been one thing. A bit of a sell out move but nothing too unexpected when NBC and the rest of television networks are looking for almost anyway to make a buck these days. But this wasn't just a commercial based on a running gag on the show. This actually aired last night during the episode of SNL. I noticed it at the time, but somehow seeing the exact same skit airing during a commercial break as opposed to during the show freaked me out even more. You gotta wonder if Pepsi just paid for the plug on the show, or if they also had to pay for the air time, because you know they had to pay for it one way or another to have it on tonight.
But that must just be our new world of advertising. Everyone has DVR now, so even during a sports event, one of the few sports events that almost everyone will watch live (and therefore not necessarily skip the commercials) companies are looking for ways to integrate their advertising into content. I've got mixed feelings about this issue, but I'm not gonna say it's either all good or all bad. Yes, commercialization can be a slippery slope, but if people can be entertained and companies can market their products, is that really the end of the world? Who's to say.
Anyway -- to take it to the readers -- what was your favorite superbowl ad this year? If you missed it you can check it out here.
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