The Fifth Book Was Pretty Angsty

How did I miss this one? Harry Potter meets Dave Eggers. It's like the new Where the Wild Things Are movie, except terrifying.

An excerpt from the novel that (thankfully) JK Rowling never wrote: Harry Potter and a Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius:

"REMOVED FROM CHAPTER 5:
So today the wind is perfect. Our brooms soar above the beach and we dive and swoop. We are the greatest Quidditch players who ever lived, Ron and I, we are beautiful and young. And I do this trick where I fly up to the Golden Snitch from behind and when I’m almost there I jump at it and my broom does a kind of 180 in the air—it’s probably a 360, actually, when you think of it—and I spin and a Bludger whips past my ear but does not dislodge me, no how could it, because no one has ever played Quidditch like this. I am really fucking good. And so now I am upside down and the Snitch is beneath me and I catch it behind my back, over my shoulder, one hand. Can you see this? Goddamn, look at that fucking catch."

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