Eternal Youth

Yet another reason to be scared of having kids: sometimes they don't get older. Brooke Greenberg looks like a baby, has the mental capacity of a toddler--and, oh yeah, she's sixteen years-old. And doctors don't know why she hasn't progressed mentally and physically.

Brooke's father has an idea:

"Why doesn't she age?" Howard Greenberg, 52, asked of his daughter. "Is she the fountain of youth?"

That's it! Better hide, Brooke. I bet there are a lot of Hollywood celebrities willing to crack you open and get your youthful powers.

Of course, TLC is all over this story. ("Child Frozen In Time," Sunday, Aug. 2 at 10 p.m. on TLC.) They just love terrifying me with baby stories.