Vomit

Mario Lopez is writing a children's book. Because everybody's doing it, and hey, kids don't know much, so they can ignore the fact that he's totally lacking in talent, right?

Ugh. My head hurts.

"An insider tells In Touch, 'Mario wants to share his amazing experiences as a kid. It's called Mud Taco, and it's based on Mario's experiences growing up. For fun, he and Marissa would make tacos out of mud in the backyard, substituting worms for cheese, grass for lettuce, and mud for meat. Now they're writing a book about it to teach children to be strong and creative.'"

Yes. Mud tacos. I know. That'll really help kids learn to be strong and creative. How will mud tacos make you strong? Seriously. Mario and his sister were not exactly breaking the mold on kids games. Plus, I wouldn't want my kid coming in the house with a freakin' mud taco. "Look Mom, we made dinner!" Yeah, that's creativity for ya.

Also, the writer adds:

"It's actually a really cute idea for a book. Now if only Mario could stop being such a womanizer!"

Yes. That's the real problem here! His darn womanizing ways! Kids hate that! But you know what they love? Mud tacos!

Mario Lopez, I never had a problem with you before. Get off the children's book train before you go on my list, too.