Fairest of Them All

As someone who has to put on SPF 80--you think that hyperbole but it's not--every day in the summer, I often wish we could go back to a time when women powdered their faces and turned their chairs away from the sun to maintain their pristine pale skin. After more than 50 years of tan equaling beauty (although sometimes it looks more oompa loompa), pale is finally starting to make a comeback.

After all, Paris Hilton looks pretty freaky and fake with her orange glow. Even Lindsay Lohan has toned it town recently. Now fake tanners let you have a "soft, natural glow" instead of a full-on tan. People are realizing that looking natural is better than applying some fake goop or baking yourself in a tanning bed.

Also:

"Beyond a sign of wealth, paleness is held in high regard within circles of the hipsterdom's intellectual elite. Have you ever seen a tanned hipster? I thought not. (And if your answer was yes, I'll bet you a million dollars that they just got back from writing grants in Burma, or something, so there. Point: Me.)"

Hipsters are bringing back all the things I love: paleness, argyle, sweatervests, weird musical instruments.

Now maybe redheads will get some respect?