With all this coverage about the swine flu, I think someone's out to destroy the meat industry. Good thing we have Chomposaurus to set things straight:
"What I’m trying to say is: Bacon is still ok! Eat all the pork sausage you want...In the rare case of swine->man transmission, the swine would need to be alive, and you’d probably need to be bathing in its blood, Carrie-style. But even then, the chances of Carrie getting the flu are very low; she’d have to be bathing in the blood every day, or be a child with bad immune defenses who spent a creepy amount of time in the pig booth at the county fair. Don’t listen to me, listen to the CDC!"
Phew! So put that bacon log back in the oven, kids, and enjoy your meat as you watch more media coverage of the medical emergency.